Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
