My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
