This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
