You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
