R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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