Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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