You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
