How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize