if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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