shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
