she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
