Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
