i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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