i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
