Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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