she was so not down for the gang bang
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
