whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
