Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
