I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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