omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
