hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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