so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
