drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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