is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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