I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
COCAINE IS GR8
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
