So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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