dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
