would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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