I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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