I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
did you just send me my own nude
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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