Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
