Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
