Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
