was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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