My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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