Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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