it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
