My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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