I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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