Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You smell like a Billy Joel song
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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