we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
