From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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