This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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