Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
