what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Vodka?
Forever.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
