Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
