Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
