Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
