i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
