Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
