Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
