I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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