she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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