you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
