have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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