if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
