True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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