Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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