First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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