I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
