you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
