You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
