I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
