She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
